Focus on the Dreams

The approaching winter solstice signals the shift into the final quarter of the yearly cycle. This is the ‘hunkering down’ phase where we can assess the year that has passed and plan for the year to come. As much as I dislike the cold of winter, I do appreciate that each day brings a little more light and some time for contemplation.

Sometimes people attempt New Year’s resolutions with hopes of forcing new or improved habits. This annual ritual can be daunting on many levels, especially if we try to change too many behaviors or are unsure what initial steps to take. Also, if it may take a while to see results from the change, our interest can quickly wane. Lack of information, support, and motivation are all huge impediments to taking even a baby step in the desired direction. Another common problem is that people spend way more time thinking about what they think needs to change rather than just taking some incremental step towards making a change.

I am going to share my few humble thoughts on this.  First, talking or thinking about change is not making a change. You have to commit to it through word, thought, and action. Consider, for example, your interactions with people who love to tell you all the things they are going to do, but when you see them later, you learn they never followed through.  How much credibility do you give their word in other interactions?  If we apply this same standard to our self commitments, we trust ourselves more, especially in the face of bigger shifts.  Remember, too, that consciously choosing to change our mind about a course of action is not the same as passively avoiding a commitment.    

Second, your heart has to be committed. This requires an internal connection to what intuitively feels right. We are bombarded constantly with media ideas about how our lives should play out and rarely do we stop to consider what our self really wants. Along this vein, I am reminded of some lyrics from the Dan Fogelberg song, Part of the Plan:

         There is no Eden or heavenly gates
         That you're gonna make it to one day
         But all of the answers you seek can be found
         In the dreams that you dream on the way.

These lyrics remind me to make dreams, not goals. Follow what calls to you, and as the rest of the song expresses, it all unfolds the way it is supposed to. Nature gives us evidence of this truth in all of its beauty. Why should we humans have any less of an experience? If we follow our dreams, we follow our heart and have an experience all our own:
        Love when you can
        Cry when you have to
        Be who you must that's a part of the plan...

Finally, when following dreams, we may need a little nudge of encouragement. Although hiring a personal coach for accountability could help, the following activity may motivate you toward taking a tiny step in the direction of your dreams in the coming year:

         
1. Rank the following ten areas in ascending order of importance to you at this time:




Health
Career
Family
Relationship (Friends & Significant Other)
Community/Social
Fitness
Spirituality
Creativity/Play
Self-Improvement [or any area of your choice]
Home


2. On blank paper [you can use poster board or large paper] create ten columns with ample space to write.

3. For each column heading, write the name of the months, starting with January and ending with October.

4. Under each month, write the corresponding area of importance you ranked above. For example, if you ranked Health number 1 and Home number 10, then write Health under January’s heading, and Home under October’s.

5. At the end of each month, you are going to plan for the following month and focus only on that particular area. First, identify your ideal or dream regarding that area. Then, pick three specific activities or focus points that could help you move toward it. It could be as simple as doing research online, putting a picture of the dream on your  refrigerator, or making a phone call.

Evaluate any shifts regarding that area each month. Then, plan the next month’s focus. You can start this at any point, but if you start in January, use November for assessing your previous ten-months' progress; use December to plan for the following year.  My wish for you is that this time next year you can reflect and proclaim you had an amazing year following your dreams, not just thinking about them.